Sonnet 154...

...will be posted after 15th August 2014.  "The Open Mouse"  has been given  first bite!

5th June 1014

Sonnet 153

Cupid - lay down the brand and get to sleep;

Since sterile smooth technology's been found,

Since the cost of actual sex got too steep,

Your lovekindling fire's been forced underground:

Leaving us free to air clean, clear eyed love

And no more messy date nights to endure.

Young blades in hairnets at Sainsbury's* prove

Testosterone's killed by the kindness cure:

He said "I'm your server!" - love's brand new fired;

Fit guy - for trial needs, you can touch the breast

Here's a BOGOF** panting to be desired:

I'll get the room, you'll be my one night guest.

Rhyming STI's with little white lies

Can't stop him filling this housewife's bored eye.

*Supermarket where Laydee Shakespeare writes a lot in the café instead of getting her shopping done.

**Buy One Get One Free - supermarket ploy.

1st June 2014

Sonnet 152

In loving me we both know you're forsworn,

But I am twice the liar love of thee swearing;

You the old bed-vow broke, leaving faith torn,

I vowed old love - it's this new hate I'm bearing.

I won't be accused of what was  broke by thee -

Since my trust in Old Faithful's* not the most,

Swear some teary oaths,  I might show some  kindness -

Oaths of new love, new truth , some constancy;

 Just to enlighten me, give my eyes blindness**,

Make them swear blind it's the real you they see.

Then, swear me fair again my perjured eye -

I'll need some confidence to live this lie.

*Cone geyser in Yellowstone National Park, noted as one of the most predictable geographical features on Earth (erupting almost  every 91 minutes).

**Really?

28 May 2014

Sonnet 151

Needling man and wife:  whatever sex is*

For you Cupid's midlife crisis sends love.

His cocksure romantic campaign's amiss,

Gone commando with red roses to prove

What?  Bad lad mags under the bed betray

 (K)nobler parts prone to gross body treason:

The  small brain big prick disconnect.  Love may

Be dead - pricks don't see that as a reason,

They'll still rise for same old same old (that's thee);

Don't let yourself go, mothers of his pride,

Well trimmed rose landing strips the way to be

Prepared for your man and bits on the side.

      But beware c(o)untings and  late booty call:

      Are STI's** God's revenge on our fall???


*Prince Charles famous reply when he was asked if he was in love with Diana "Whatever love means..."

**New medical research showing rising incidence of  STI's among menopausal women , who are at more risk because of changes to their ahem "rose" .

    



   

26th May 2014

Sonnet 150

If it hadn't  been twenty-eight* I might

Have lent that gross Dark Laydee  wit some sway;

But equating love with beer goggle sight

Turned all my dawns to red PMT day.

Your love hangover's self-inflicted ill

Fuelled by bad alcohol related deeds;

A failure to launch small rapier skill

Means disappointment performance exceeds.

Let's split same day we marry and here's more:

 Keep it no-fault,  exit cheaply ex-hate

(Rich lawyers claim blind "love" rhymes with "abhor"),

No blame No shame DIY's divorce rate.

    Five Cosmos** and the magic happened for me -

    More crazy I to wait for love from thee.


* Theory that  twenty-eight sonnets in the Dark Lady sequence  correspond to female menstrual cycle.

**Cosmopolitan cocktails

       

    

22nd May 2014

Sonnet 148

Can't get stags in onsies outta my head:

Wee pickles neatly zipped up out of sight -

Where's their masculinity hormones fled?

Who's falsely censored what lads thought aright?

Lassies finding hens make a better dote:

French kissing openly on my street, so

What does heteronormality* denote?

Love's eye's more right than when "no" wasn't "no":

Not just Cupid - we too were blind to  true.

Us Eurovision viewers moved to tears

Like our glam bearded laydeez free to view:

The sun sees what no bigot censor clears.

    No he's or she's, just "it's"** if love is blind,

    Fault and faults left to hateful eyes to find.

*President Putin's word.

**Description (in Russian TV debate) of Eurovision 2014 winner.

20h May 2014

Sonnet 147


There's something to hate in everyone, still -

All-nighters' sex 'n' shopping's not disease,

What makes the world go round won't make you ill:

Could you just put  your PIN in for me , please?

Ok, I've conflated spending with love;

Multinational pharmaceuticals kept

Cures secret governments wouldn't approve;

We're in materialism'd grip; except -

Past cure I am, now reason is past care

What's come around went around my unrest:

Since I lost you both my regrets/grief are

Best blind drunk and disorderly expressed.

Husband and/or Mum - I've been less than bright:

Addiction not obsession dulls the night.